Faith

What Works: Cultivating presence

Swedish river scene, Jan van Goyen, 1596-1656

I often hear people talking about living in the present moment as if it is a struggle, some cosmic game of attempting to grasp something that is fleeting, illusory. They say things like, “the moment I have it, it’s gone.” While this is true and can be frustrating, the last thing present moment awareness is about is grabbing serenity. I have always liked the metaphor of the river (borrowed from my Christian contemplative practice of centering prayer) in talking of the flow of thoughts. Imagine the stream of consciousness as a river, with boats and debris representing thoughts. You’re sitting on the bank of the river watching it. Normal awareness has you looking at each individual boat-thought, following it down the river with your eyes — and to strain the metaphor, getting on it and opening hatches — then suddenly shifting your awareness to another boat and so on. If your mind is particularly cluttered, you can feel overwhelmed by all the boats you have to look at and it can feel like that classic I Love Lucy skit with the conveyor belt at the chocolate factory, like you’re falling behind and they start slipping by. There can be a sense of panic that a thought that’s getting past you without attention is important and you’re missing it.

Present moment awareness is simply sitting on the bank and watching the river, not the boats. Boats cross your field of vision and you do see them, but you don’t follow them with your eyes or get on them. They’re not out of focus, but you don’t focus on them.

The present moment is where reality is, where God is. When you remove the obstacles from being … Continue reading What Works: Cultivating presence

Faith

What Works: HALT — Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired

Ever want to bite someone’s head off just because they had the misfortune to cross your path when you hadn’t eaten lunch? Or hadn’t gotten enough sleep the night before? Or when you were already angry about something else? Ever sit alone — or worse, in a crowd — and feel lonely and irritated at anyone and everything?

When I was on Father Dave’s radio show in June, we talked a little about HALT. Ever since then, I’ve been wanting to write more about it. Self-help is full of acronyms and aphorisms and a lot of them are more cute than useful, but this one is a keeper. Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired: When you feel irritated or anxious, one — or more — of those four conditions is likely at play.

And if not noticed and tended to, they can lead you to very bad places: explosions at others, self-destructive acts, relapses into addictions.

The genius of HALT is that it reminds us of several things at the same time:

To halt before we act out, and reconnect with the divine. To tend to our physical and emotional well-being — not just go running around on fumes without eating and sleeping. That these feelings are ephemeral, and once we see them for what they are and let go of our attachment to them, they lose their power over us.

HALT

Are you anxious or irritated? Are you beginning to attack someone or lose control? Are you feeling hopeless, or like giving up and returning to an addiction?

HALT! Pause — especially if there is an escalating situation. Take a deep breath or count to ten.

HUNGRY: Did you eat at the last regular mealtime? Or did you skip … Continue reading What Works: HALT — Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired

Faith

What Works: Meditation

ww2-meditation-insideThe promise of meditation is not the 20 minutes of refuge from an otherwise insane day, wonderful as that may be. The promise is to gradually cultivate a way of living that is less insane. I’ve noticed over and over: People struggling with anxiety over things they’re powerless to affect rarely have a daily prayer and meditation practice. … Continue reading What Works: Meditation