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Spirituality & Religion

What Works: Turn Off the News

by Phil Fox Rose

You won’t miss anything important

[Actual 9/23/09 WABC-NY local news tease at 10:32 p.m.]

At 11, we follow the food to local restaurants and our investigation could take your appetite away! [video of bloody meat being handled unsanitarily] … An act of love or murder — why did a man shoot his wife of more than 50 years? [video of body bag being removed from building] … And, he stopped for a bag of ice at a corner store, but he never saw this coming. [video — no joke — of a pedestrian being slammed into in a parking lot by an SUV]

I don’t mean to put anyone out of work in this difficult economy — I even have several friends in this profession — but I implore you to turn off the news and leave it off. Mainly, I want you to turn off the local news, where “if it bleeds, it leads” and the priority, after titillating you with gore, is to scare you — because they thrive if we think we have to watch or we’ll die.

There are a number of reasons I recommend turning off the news. First, life is stressful enough already. Who needs this? Second, if you are powerless over something, there’s usually no benefit in worrying about it. Third, exposing yourself regularly to the ugliest aspects of society darkens and coarsens your view of other people, which takes you away from compassion and love, and thus away from God. It undermines your spiritual fitness.

Rather than helping us better to mourn — to see the suffering in the world with an open heart — watching the news regularly hardens our hearts. In order to face so much suffering with no option of relevant action, we detach from it; we tune it out, if … Continue reading What Works: Turn Off the News

Spirituality & Religion

What Works: Spiritual Recovery

by Phil Fox Rose

Becoming free from alcoholism and addiction requires God’s help, not self-help

If you are an alcoholic or addict, being spiritually unfit can be fatal. If not literally fatal then, as in my case, a living death — one definition of Hell is being alive and active in this world, feeling separated from God. And I spent years there. But today I live — and have for some time now — free, awake, fully alive, vital.

My earlier What Works column on alcoholism and addiction focused on self-diagnosis, and I could easily explain my own alcoholism by pointing to genetics and circumstances; but the root cause is spiritual — that God-shaped hole, that feeling of brokenness and alienation I was trying to assuage. I’ve met other alcoholics who had no obvious “causes” but I think we all share a spiritual longing.

Carl Jung wrote, to Alcoholics Anonymous cofounder Bill Wilson, that “craving for alcohol” is “the equivalent on a low level of the spiritual thirst of our being for wholeness,” famously concluding the letter “spiritus contra spiritum” — the Spirit against alcohol.

As I said about not getting enough sleep, when you don’t feel connected to God, it’s easy to slip into irritability. A more accurate word is probably “sullenness.” And, if you’ll forgive a moment of word-nerdiness, “sullen” comes from the same root as “solo” and originally meant “alone.” How fitting, because that’s really what’s going on — you feel alone in the universe.

Recovery is not self-help

Let me be as clear as possible here: Recovery from alcoholism and drug addiction is not about self-help. The solution is not to gain knowledge and strength and willpower so you can beat it. As I’ve said before, it’s not even to admit you have a problem. Recovery is about … Continue reading What Works: Spiritual Recovery

Spirituality & Religion

What Works: Am I An Alcoholic?

by Phil Fox Rose

Our inaugural What Works column tackles the toughest question some people ever face

“Am I an alcoholic?” “Am I an addict?” At some point, many of us look back on our drinking or using and question it: question whether it’s sustainable; question whether it’s getting in the way of our life; question whether we’re becoming who we want to be. This happened for me at 23. I’d made quite a mess already in ten years. Some come to these questions even younger. Whenever it happens, we become spiritual seekers. We open to deeper questions of meaning that had been obscured. I’ve met countless others over the years who have come up against this or some other crisis and found that, rather than the end, it was the beginning of their journey.

In this new column, I will be exploring issues of personal spirituality. If life’s thrown you a curve and turned you into a seeker, and you don’t know where to start, I hope with my twenty plus years of ups and downs on this adventure I can offer a little light for your own path. If you are already a seeker or, as I prefer to call myself, a pilgrim, perhaps you’ll find something useful here — a new method, an unexplored area or a useful tool.

At 16, Nancy faced several years of wreckage and asked herself the same questions. It was easy enough for her to see the patterns. She didn’t need to suffer for a decade more, or two, to prove to herself that she was an alcoholic. She got to experience college and dating and early work life with clarity. Though my path is my path, I envy her that.

But not everyone who gets out of control with drinking and drugs is an alcoholic or addict. People often … Continue reading What Works: Am I An Alcoholic?

Phil Fox Rose

What Works: Spiritual Recovery

What Works: Am I An Alcoholic?

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